“I’ve decided that I am going to hand my 3 weeks’ notice and leave,” My boss’ reaction was one of sheer and utter surprise. I shifted in my chair to cope with her long gaze. As she played with her watch she looked at me and asked, “But why?” To be honest, I didn’t know how to respond to that question. I myself had no idea why. It was a fantastic job, I had the best co-workers and my boss was amazing. And yet, I had no idea why I wanted to leave. So I answered with the best excuse I had. “Well, uh... I keep getting sick and it’s effecting my work performance... and it’s not very professional of me to keep having days off, and yeah.” Did I believe that was a reason? Of course. Was I fully confident in that being my only reason? Uh, maybe not.
Over the past weeks, I had delved myself into work. I got in an hour or so before I started, and I stayed an hour or so after I finished. I was so determined on getting my room looking good for our upcoming inspection. The place had to look perfect. Funnily enough, I never got to see the fruits of my labour being showcased as I was overcome by a horrible virus. And I missed the whole thing. It was then; I had this gut wrenching feeling. This feeling was telling me it was time to leave my job.
Have you ever had that kind of experience? Where for some reason things change suddenly, dramatically even and you have no idea what to do but follow your gut instinct? And not just any gut instinct, but one that is so strong you just have to pursue it, regardless of not knowing the outcome? That’s called faith. And that’s what was happening to me. But I didn’t want to follow it. It was crazy. On no basis did I have a reason for leaving my work. Except for this persistent gut feeling.
Sometimes we stress about certain life changing events, thinking it’s up to us as individuals to make the best decision. And that is true to an extent. But how many of us forget to realise that God is in control? In Jeremiah 29:11 it says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Could it be that if we allowed this ‘God’ more free rein over our lives we could possibly find out and live out what He has in store for us?
In saying that, God doesn’t reveal everything in one go. Not only would that be boring, there would be no opportunity for us to develop our faith. To exercise our need to pray. There would be no need to encourage others. No reason to develop patience. The list goes on.
In John 3:16 it says, “...whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” How could we even have eternal life without complete and utter faith in our Maker? There are reason’s God gives us these opportunities. It’s to enhance our faith and to develop other necessary life (and or) spiritual skills, so that we are ready to receive Him in His second coming.
The Bible has hundreds of inspiring stories relating to faith. Many strong followers of God were taken for a ride not knowing what the outcome would be but certain that God was leading the way. What was the end result? Incredible stories, moving nations to know who this ‘God’ is.
But wait; there is a caution. When taking a plunge to do something you know God is asking you to do, beware of those that will discourage you. Even Jesus suffered from others doubting His reason for being on earth. Had He listened to other’s advice and opinions, do you think we would have the full salvation we have now? I think not.
The following weeks for me were one’s of second guessing myself a lot, due to other people’s logic and reasoning. They were just as puzzled to know why on earth I was leaving. My Boss was at me almost every day, telling me to change my mind, telling me I was too good of a worker to lose. It sounded flattering at the time, but my faith in God was stronger. I thought He had this fantastic plan for me to pursue something in Child welfare, or working with Refugees, something I had wanted to do for ages. How wrong I was.
It was only a week after resigning that I found out I was pregnant. Boy, did this throw a spanner in the works. Not only was I jobless in a few weeks, my husband and I now had to cater for a baby on the way.
So I did what every person does, when things aren’t working. I began to question God. “Are you sure this is what I am meant to be doing? Lord, I think your making a mistake, this isn’t working for me. I think if you do it my way, things will work out better. Can you just think about it please?” But no. No answer. Just a simple, “Just follow it through”. I’m glad I did. I actually had somewhat of a difficult pregnancy. But I thank God I was never admitted to hospital or anything. It just pretty much left me useless and bed ridden, asking myself how on earth would I cope if I was working AND be pregnant at the same time?
Not only that, but I had a long journey in which I had to become reunited with God and eat a bit of humble pie. I hadn’t realised how proud and work driven I had become. It was only till I left work I realised. I was not superwoman and I was in fact-replaceable. My duty now, was to realise the importance of becoming a mother and a house wife and knowing I had to learn how to do it with God by my side. Yes, I ate A LOT of humble pie!
But I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m glad I listened to my gut instinct. I’m glad I didn’t listen when other’s shared their ‘own logic’. I am glad I stepped out in faith! Because in the end, I rested well, my spiritual life prospered which helped me in more ways than one!
